Two weeks late on the account of a wedding, this Game of Thrones review is a double feature: Blood of My Blood and No One. For Blood of My Blood, there was also an unheard of death count of zero, which was followed by a massacre in No One. But many happy returns to our favorite fathers: Randall Tarly and Walder Frey (who is technically a grandfather/ great grandfather?)
The Body Count for No One:
- a lot of pacifists (slaughtered)
Way Up North
We pick up where we left off with Meera having gained an improbable lead over the white walkers.… Read more »
And now things are truly sizzling with episode five, The Door! We’re only midway through the season, and this episode was so action packed with standout performances by Sophie Turner and Pilou Asbaek. Also, the first gratuitous nudity in a while: STD riddled penis and a pair of boobs. Though sometimes I think Game of Thrones can be used as sex aversion therapy, because so many much sad, sad boobs.
Death count: 10-20?*
Hodor (torn to pieces by White Walkers)
Leaf & friends (torn to pieces by White Walkers and/or blown up)
Summer (torn to pieces by White Walkers)
The Three Eyed Raven (stabbed by the Night King)
* white walkers do not count
Unfortunately, there were no fathers present this week so the Shitty Dad Award is not awarded.… Read more »
Game of Thrones season six finally hits its stride with episode four “Book of the Stranger.” Sworn enemies become bedfellows, armies are called, and treaties are set into motion. While it’s still unclear who’s playing the Game of Thrones, it looks like a lot of blood is going to be shed in the next episode or two.
The writers, much like the evil High Sparrow, have finally allowed our scattered characters to coalesce and conspire among themselves. Though the title of the episode is “Book of the Stranger,” Tyrion seems to have said the spiritual title of “We Only Make Peace With Our Enemies, Not our Friends.”
Strange alliances include
- The Lannisters and the Tyrells
- Childhood enemies: Jon Snow and Sansa Stark
- Jon Snow & Sansa Stark & Wildlings
- warring dicks Daario Naharis and Jorah Mormount
In Kings Landing, there will be a showdown between the Rich and the Religious.… Read more »
The third episode “Oathbreaker” finally zeroes in on three main story lines: the further misadventures of Daenerys, the further misadventures of the Lannisters, and Jon Snow’s resurrection and guilt ridden revenge. Unfortunately, only the Lannisters were interesting this week, and that was mostly because Oleanna Tyrell and Kevan Lannister put the devilish duo in their place.
Other plot points that got too much screen time were Arya’s training montage (though the self-reflection as one is turning into no one was quite nice), Gilly and Sam, and Tommen and the High Sparrow.
Despite it’s title, there’s very little oath breaking in the actual episode.… Read more »
Despite the water cooler discussion of Game of Thrones reaching fevered pitches, this season hasn’t been really doing it for me. Charitably put, season six episode two “Home” still feels like the chessboard is being set up. Uncharitably put, it feels like a whole bunch of disparate randomness that doesn’t take advantage of five seasons of setup.
While we get to finally see some acting chops from Sweet Baby Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman), the face off between the High Sparrow and Jaime Lannister was a lackluster showing. But before we get into this, when did Jon Snow go from least popular Lord Commander ever to MVP of the year? … Read more »
Did you know in Westeros that blood is a woman’s favorite color? While one would think that the Red Woman would be an episode all about Melisandre (Carice van Houten), there are quite a few ladies who are wearing a little red. It was a pretty good taster of an upcoming season, and the only thing for certain is a whole lot of crazy sauce. The episode opens with a view of gray cliffs, but which gray cliffs are these: somewhere in Essos? the Eyrie? Nope, howling wolf signals the Wall and the Night’s Watch.
Season six picks up minutes/ days after the season five finale ends.… Read more »
Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 10 Mother’s Mercy was kind of merciless and brutal. Did anyone feel like all the characters also knew it was the finale, and thus there was a lot of blood for dubious reasons?
I reread my review of last season’s finale, and what do you know, I didn’t like that much either. It included the epic but ill advised showdown between the Hound and Brienne. SPOILERS. We thought last season was bad, but this season it’s even worse for Brienne.She and Podrick sit in a room and stare at a tower for several episodes — maybe they even keep watches during the night.… Read more »
The penultimate episode of season five Game of Thrones, “Dance of Dragons” has not gained a lot of favor on the internets. Possibly for its treatment of little girls. But what I really want to talk about is the spears. In the last scene, [SPOILER WARNING] the Harpies overrun the arena and kill people willy nilly. I have no idea how they smuggled in the masks and weapons — at this point, the masks are kind of a moot point — One would think it would ruin the drape of their nice robes, but that takes us away from the main issue.… Read more »
The title of the blog post is taken from Jaqen H’ghar (Tom Wlaschiha). In a slightly different show, I would say that comment was directed to the audience. Marriage, murder, triumph, or tragedy, it’s all the same to the spectacle-starved masses. But with its several dozen storylines, hundred or so named characters, I don’t think Game of Thrones has the space to go meta. And if it is, well, then that’s rich.
Arya Stark becomes a fishmonger assassin named Lanna and gets her first mark. She is to study and eventually kill a corrupt man aka The Thin Man who insures captains of ships.… Read more »
After last week’s hour of sparkles and sunshine (read my review of Unbowed, Unbent, and Unbroken), I dragged my feet in watching this week’s episode of Game of Thrones. Titled “The Gift,” we’re shown with a series of presents, each more ghoulish than the next until we finally end the episode on a semi-happy note that could still end horribly.
And we thought last week was bad for Lady Sansa. Sansa has bruised arms and is a prisoner in the bedroom. Ramsey visits her every night. *shivers* She attempts to recruit Theon/Reek to light the candle and call for help, but he promptly reports her to Ramsey.… Read more »