Updates

I wrote this post on July 17 on my phone while taking a very long walk, and then I sat on it for almost two months hoping I’d change my mind. 

Hello,
I am going away for a while. I just don’t enjoy writing reviews like I used to. I’ve known this for a while when writing those of Game of Thrones reviews. Even when I was blown away by the finale I didn’t have much to say…so I didn’t.

I watched Finding Dory, and found it deeply troubling to have such a poignant portrayal of a child with a disability (short term memory loss) and then make a seal with a unibrow a butt of a joke.… Read more »

Game of Thrones: Blood of My Blood and No One

game of thrones season 6

Two weeks late on the account of a wedding, this Game of Thrones review is a double feature: Blood of My Blood and No One. For Blood of My Blood, there was also an unheard of death count of zero, which was followed by a massacre in No One. But many happy returns to our favorite fathers: Randall Tarly and Walder Frey (who is technically a grandfather/ great grandfather?)

The Body Count for No One:

  • a lot of pacifists (slaughtered)

Way Up North
We pick up where we left off with Meera having gained an improbable lead over the white walkers.… Read more »

Game of Thrones S6E5: A Door by Any Other Name

game of thrones season 6

And now things are truly sizzling with episode five, The Door! We’re only midway through the season, and this episode was so action packed with standout performances by Sophie Turner and Pilou Asbaek. Also, the first gratuitous nudity in a while: STD riddled penis and a pair of boobs. Though sometimes I think Game of Thrones can be used as sex aversion therapy, because so many much sad, sad boobs.

Death count: 10-20?*
Hodor (torn to pieces by White Walkers)
Leaf & friends (torn to pieces by White Walkers and/or blown up)
Summer (torn to pieces by White Walkers)
The Three Eyed Raven (stabbed by the Night King)
* white walkers do not count

Unfortunately, there were no fathers present this week so the Shitty Dad Award is not awarded.… Read more »

Captain America: War on Friendship

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First a word about spoilers. My TV reviews are full recaps, but movie reviews are limited to only things covered in the trailers and/ or movie posters. If you haven’t seen the Captain America: Civil War trailer and are afraid of spoilers, please don’t read this review.

Yesterday, I watched Captain America: Civil War and found that I don’t have much an opinion about it. It was good, it wasn’t great, and I’m on the fence on whether the fight scenes really warrant a special trip to the theater.

Ever since Tony Zhou made his video on Jackie Chan, I haven’t been able to watch fight scenes the same way.… Read more »

Penny Dreadful’s Verbis Diablo is Full of Small Talks

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After over a one year hiatus, I’m picking up Penny Dreadful again. Season two episode two’s Verbis Diablo is a pleasant surprise with the return of quirky gay Egyptologist Ferdinand Lyle and the meeting of Caliban/ John Clare/ the Creature and the singular Miss Vanessa Ives. Strangely, when you pair two melodramatic characters, they tend to mellow each other out.

Recap
Vanessa Ives is deeply tormented about the witches so Sir Malcolm takes her to a proto-soup kitchen to cheer her up, before he wanders off and is bewitched by the Head Witch Evelyn Poole. She cheats of course by casting a spell on him, instead of using her womanly wiles.… Read more »

Game of Thrones S6E4: We Only Make Peace With Our Enemies

game of thrones season 6

Game of Thrones season six finally hits its stride with episode four “Book of the Stranger.” Sworn enemies become bedfellows, armies are called, and treaties are set into motion. While it’s still unclear who’s playing the Game of Thrones, it looks like a lot of blood is going to be shed in the next episode or two.

The writers, much like the evil High Sparrow, have finally allowed our scattered characters to coalesce and conspire among themselves. Though the title of the episode is “Book of the Stranger,” Tyrion seems to have said the spiritual title of “We Only Make Peace With Our Enemies, Not our Friends.”

Strange alliances include

  1. The Lannisters and the Tyrells
  2. Childhood enemies: Jon Snow and Sansa Stark
  3. Jon Snow & Sansa Stark & Wildlings
  4. warring dicks Daario Naharis and Jorah Mormount

In Kings Landing, there will be a showdown between the Rich and the Religious.… Read more »

S6E3 Oathbreaker Breaks the Usual Bones and Minds

game of thrones season 6

The third episode “Oathbreaker” finally zeroes in on three main story lines: the further misadventures of Daenerys,  the further misadventures of the Lannisters, and Jon Snow’s resurrection and guilt ridden revenge. Unfortunately, only the Lannisters were interesting this week, and that was mostly because Oleanna Tyrell and Kevan Lannister put the devilish duo in their place.

Other plot points that got too much screen time were Arya’s training montage (though the self-reflection as one is turning into no one was quite nice), Gilly and Sam, and Tommen and the High Sparrow.

Despite it’s title, there’s very little oath breaking in the actual episode.… Read more »

Game of Thrones: This Week On Deadliest Home

game of thrones season 6

Despite the water cooler discussion of Game of Thrones reaching fevered pitches, this season hasn’t been really doing it for me. Charitably put, season six episode two “Home” still feels like the chessboard is being set up. Uncharitably put, it feels like a whole bunch of disparate randomness that doesn’t take advantage of five seasons of setup.  

While we get to finally see some acting chops from Sweet Baby Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman), the face off between the High Sparrow and Jaime Lannister was a lackluster showing. But before we get into this, when did Jon Snow go from least popular Lord Commander ever to MVP of the year? … Read more »

Season 6 Episode 1: The Mystery of the Red Woman

game of thrones season 6

Did you know in Westeros that blood is a woman’s favorite color? While one would think that the Red Woman would be an episode all about Melisandre (Carice van Houten), there are quite a few ladies who are wearing a little red. It was a pretty good taster of an upcoming season, and the only thing for certain is a whole lot of crazy sauce. The episode opens with a view of gray cliffs, but which gray cliffs are these: somewhere in Essos? the Eyrie? Nope, howling wolf signals the Wall and the Night’s Watch.

Season six picks up minutes/ days after the season five finale ends.… Read more »

Zootopia: Double Review

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I went into it having only seen a few early trailers of a Fox character giving a bunny cop a hard time. There was also that sloth DMV scene, which went on way too long. A lot people are going to talk about the references for adults (there is a great Breaking Bad reference), or about the themes (race, gender, stereotypes, etc.), but at its core, it’s a solid story and delightfully imagined and wonderfully cast. 

Idris Elba and J. K. Simmons are delightful as the tough as nails police chief Bogo and so smooth he’s greasy Mayor Lionhart. Nate Torrence stole every scene he was in as Clawhauser, the doughnut guzzling, Shakira loving leopard cheetah.Read more »

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